Ingo Schlupp

Females Prefer the 'Stache - Study Confirms

                                                One fish. Two fish. Red fish. 'Stache fish?  

You betcha.  It has been confirmed that the Mexican male molly fish can grow a type of mustache to lure their mates - and size DOES matter.  According to a recent article on PhysOrg.com, zoologist and professor, Ingo Schlupp at The University of Oklahoma, conducted the study where researchers caught and observed the mating behaviors of over 100 male and female Mexican mollies. This included measuring the length of the mustaches on those male fish which grew them.

The results -- on experiments involving those 100+ fish -- females consistently preferred males with mustaches.  What's more interesting, the same study* was conducted in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with hipsters, resulting in the same exact findings.    

Male molly 'stache:
 
Greenpoint hipster 'stache:

(*unofficial study based solely on my friends dating habits)