When I read about a man in Kentucky who was forced to eat his own beard, Daft Punk's Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger entered my head when I contemplated if eating your own beard meant that you'd grow one back far superior. As if ingesting your own facial hair somehow made you almost superhuman....
I guess we'll wait to find out, but so far Harvey Westmoreland is in the mourning stage after arguing over the price of a used riding mower, he was beaten at gunpoint and then forced to shave off and eat his own beard.
We can't even make this story up if we tried. Note: we didn't edit the below video, this is really what Harvey sounds (and looks) like.