Johnny Depp — Build-A-Beard

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Yeah, we're dissapointed too... and not necessarily just with the fact that Ricky Gervais disappeared halfway through the terribly edited, seated (no elbow room even for Bruce Willis?!?), bleeped, and most importantly bearded awards show... either way, conspiracy theories aside, compared to last year, this was a much hairless of a gathering, with the hottest accesory item seemingly being the baby bump and not some facial fuzz, sadly.

Even though the Globes again were hosted by the slightly more bearded (than last year) creator of the Office series, and an all around funny godless chap, Mr. Gervais... even though the beardos that did grace the red carpet and stage were nearly all corporate beardos (like myself), it does not deter the annual thought that the drab event proves again and again why awards shows are unnecessary and irrelevant (The Social Network sweeps, really? Jump the shark much?)... that said, here are our top 5 beardos at the Globes. Unlike Hollywood, we can keep a tradition going for more than a year.

#5) Scott Caan -- Like the show he was nominated for (TV series 'Hawaii Five-O'), this look's been done, and it's missing a lot...

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#4) Brad Pitt/Johnny Depp -- Brad trimmed his goatee, but at least he didn't shave it... besides, great arm candy will make everything look better. Johnny is perpetually goateed, and well, he deserves to be on every list, always.

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#3) Ricky Gervais -- I liked his mean-ness, people need to grow a pair (especially in Cali), besides... he bested his last year scruff with a full on corporate beard. Kudos.

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#2) Jake Gyllenhaal -- Is he Spiderman or Brokeback Mountain? Ah who cares, this beard is full and well groomed. B-a-B Approved!

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#1) Christian Bale -- Clearly THE best effort (at least that was photographed heavily) last night... If half the audience was even 50% this bearded we would not be complaining, Christian... you fucking rock, thank you for supporting and sporting the beard.

Credit ReutersAs if there is any doubt WHY he's the only one on our list that actually collected a Golden Globe... Hollywood take note, and stop disappointing us! Take another bow Mr. Bale... you're our Beardo of the Month!

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Build-a-Beard is starting a new weekly column - interviewing gents and ladies about their thoughts on dating a guy (and in rare cases a woman) with some facial fuzz. First up, Ms. Amy Wright, a NYC resident who lives by the motto "there was really no excuse, except that I felt lucky." We talked to Amy about her life growing up with a stached father (kick ass proof below), how Johnny Depp is her favorite everything, rules on dating those with facial hair, her luck (if any) with beardos, and how she resists the urge to cut a man's stache 1/2 off for a laugh...

BaB: How old were you when you 1st realized your dad was rocking that sweet stache?
Amy: When I was born, Dad had the handlebar/beard combo with hair down to his waist, so I guess its fair to say Ive always been aware. I've heard stories that I liked to grab at it as a baby, and I remember as a child my Dad liked to scratch my face and belly with his beard to tease me. I called his beard “Billy Goat Scruff," thinking that I was cleverly citing the fairy tale.

Did you like it?
I cant say that I liked being scratched by his bristly beard, no, but I did like the attention the hair/facial hair combo seemed to get. Growing up in the south, mustache/beards have been in style since the civil war, but he was obviously a hippie/biker/Willie Nelson type, so he would get some looks. I liked feeling like my Dad was mysterious and cool, and that he scared teachers and boyfriends sometimes. To be honest, he looks better with the face hair than clean shaven.

How do you feel about facial hair now? What's acceptable to you vs. not?
I generally don’t like it…. It doesn’t feel good against the skin, it chaffs places, and it makes me break out (wow... I just totally made other people's face hair all about ME!). It looks good on some dudes, like it belongs there, but as far as romantic partners go I can't do a full beard/stache because it's weird to make out with someone that feels like you're making out with your Dad.

Also, there's this epidemic of novelty face hair- where people act like they are doing some sort of magic trick if they wax their mustache - that’s a bit annoying. I do think it's cute when guys get lazy and haven’t shaved for a few days - and I have dated a few guys that have the permanent weeks worth of scruff on their face. I guess I take it on a case-by-case basis.

If you HAD to kiss someone with a goatee, stache, beard, or handle bar mustache - which one would you pick - and why?
Famous dude- Salvador Dali when he was like 25 or so, cause he was cute. I would name a not famous dude, but I might get myself into trouble…

Have you ever dated anyone with a full face of hair? If so, have you ever felt the urge to cut it off while they slept?
Yes, I have… a fellow who grew a very thick beard and mustache for a play. I didn’t have the urge to cut it because the discomfort I endured during the production was offset by the promise of a shave after the show closed (and for the record, I think he does look better without it). I do sometimes have the urge to cut a big patch out of those really long, ZZ Top-like beards when I see someone that has one, or one half of someone's mustache just because I think it would be funny. I will admit certain face hair can be a deal breaker for me… I'm sure it doesn’t feel awesome to shave your face, but since I basically shave from the neck down, I don’t feel like its an outlandish request for a fellow to not have a crazy beard that hangs to his belly button.

(Miss Amy Wright)

What's your favorite movie star with facial fuzz? What star do you think would look better IF they shaved?
My favorite movie star with facial fuzz is Johnny Depp. He doesnt grow much because he’s part Cherokee, but hes been rocking the bit that he can grow for a few years now. There is nothing that could make Johnny Depp look better, except if he was sleeping next to me... I think that would make him look better, although I'm sure many women would beg to differ. He is pretty much my favorite everything, not just movie star with facial hair. I also like George Michaels Diablo look, and think he looks better with than without.

Anything else you'd like us to know/share.....
I recently saw a guy that was about 75 years old wearing a t-shirt that said “my mustache brings all the girls to the yard” and nearly fell over laughing. Frank Black has an awesome song about growing a beard called “My Fu Manchu” that you should add to this site, if you haven’t already.

(You got it, Amy)