Ok beardos, so you're running out of time. Obv. It's like the week before Halloween-what the hell are you going to be? The thrift stores are picked and your Grandma knows you're thinking of raiding her closet and just going out partying in her housecoat and some fuzzy bunny slippers. Save yourself and your grandmother the embarrassment and go as:
Zach Galifianakis
(note: Build-A-Beard Enterprises, Inc., LLC, cannot condone FAKING THE GALIFIANAKIS BEARD. EVER. But if you're a lazy slob, and you are-this works.)
A member of Adam & The Ants...
...or what the fuck ever that guy is
And what the hell is
Ok, yeah, forget it, dude-you waited too long. We're gonna have to go simple on this one. So, for Halloween, dude? Just wear what you wear when you go out to pick up chicks:
Play on, bearded playa, and have a happy Halloween. By yourself. Drinking quarter waters. That's how you do.