Don't Buy A Beard on Halloween

When searching for Halloween costumes this year, feel free to dress up as your favorite celeb or cult film character, but PLEASE don't buy a beard.  There is nothing more pathetic than announcing to the world that you're too lazy to grow one yourself.  If you're incapable of growing a beard, again, don't highlight that fact.  

Save your dignity -  pick a costume from The Jersey Shore or become a Tiger Booty Buddy.  

Examples of FAIL

• World's Longest Beard 
• Lumberjack Mask 
• Child's Grey Beard 
• Biblical Beard 
• Lord of Rings Gandalf Wig & Beard Set 

 

Best Beards For Halloween: LAST MINUTE

Ok beardos, so you're running out of time. Obv. It's like the week before Halloween-what the hell are you going to be? The thrift stores are picked and your Grandma knows you're thinking of raiding her closet and just going out partying in her housecoat and some fuzzy bunny slippers. Save yourself and your grandmother the embarrassment and go as:

Zach Galifianakis

(note: Build-A-Beard Enterprises, Inc., LLC, cannot condone FAKING THE GALIFIANAKIS BEARD. EVER. But if you're a lazy slob, and you are-this works.)

A member of Adam & The Ants...

...or what the fuck ever that guy is

And what the hell is

Ok, yeah, forget it, dude-you waited too long. We're gonna have to go simple on this one. So, for Halloween, dude? Just wear what you wear when you go out to pick up chicks:

Play on, bearded playa, and have a happy Halloween. By yourself. Drinking quarter waters. That's how you do.

Best Beards For Halloween, Part 3

Jesus Christ, that's a nice beard-o costume

For those who don't know, this is the guy Mariah Carey wrote the song "Hero" about.

Best Beards for Halloween, Part 2

Even little kids are into it

That's right, for score and like fifteen or twenty years ago, ABRO-ham Lincoln sailed forth from, like, Jersey City to free all the awesomeness and let the beards run wild, or something. We celebrate him on Halloween, and you can, too.

Best Beards for Halloween, Part 1

Say you're one of the few, the unfortunate, the beardless, and you're wondering how you can masquerade as though your chin isn't cold for Halloween. Build-a-Beard is here to help!

First suggestion: Beardo the Caveman

oh shit sorry that's just some dude I saw at Zabloski's.