"He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man." -Shakespeare
It took us a few days to really process the whole "beardpocalypse" that took place on May 2nd. We've been big... avid... loyal supporters of Conan O'Brien's beard so this was a sad loss... one that hit the BaB family hard... like an open-hand slap to a bare face. It stung. It hurt. It frankly pissed us off.
Of course you could tell us that it was risky backing a celeb's beard... plenty of factors come into play that could jeopardize it's elegance and stunt it's growth (e.g. publicists, agents, commercials, movies), but unlike the rest of Hollywood's nauseating 2-minute beardos, we felt safe supporting Conan's face. The ginger beard was destined for a fabulous future - at least the foreseeable one. And surely he wouldn't shave it off to boost ratings or help his friend Will Ferrell make a splash before The Office. The beard was the only thing that helped him out during those post-NBC days - brought him personal comfort and protection - and helped propel him to more recognition than he probably deserved.
Sell out.
Chances are, you've had at least one breakup that left you wondering, "What the hell just happened?" This is our moment. It was an agonizing death... watching a man shave off a proper beard can be like watching a car accident in slow motion: It's usually bad and hard not to watch.
As recapped by OTRC.com, "The 43-year-old actor led O'Brien to a salon chair brought out to the stage by show workers. Ferrell held up a razor 'that runs on pure righteousness' and showcased some mock-ups of looks O'Brien could adopt - including a short mustache donned by Adolf Hitler. He then began shaving O'Brien's face..."
It's too devastating to report further on the facts. Where will we go from here? *spits* Not in TBS' direction. Although, we might make an exception if Andy Richter grows a beard - and keeps it. Let's hear it for real beards!
