facial hair

Eurovision 2014, you win the internet

Thanks to The Independent for alerting us to this, think we found the act we're backing to win Eurovision song contest... we're just going to leave this here...

Singing for Austria, meet Conchita Wurst, aka Tom Neuwirth, who has been performing as his alter ego Conchita since 2011. For this year's contest he will be singing 'Rise Like a Phoenix'. Tom's motto is: 'Be the best version of yourself rather than a bad copy of someone else'. Conchita is a symbol for tolerance and artistic freedom around the world.

Austria, way to prove it, you win the internet.
ORF/Thomas Ramstorfer


BREAKING: We are making a difference (duh)

GUYS! We're doing it; and we are winning!

Look, we never want to hurt the economy, or any one company or another, make people lose jobs or support any kind of economic regression... but the fact of the matter is, there are certain companies that are at the forefront of beardicide and pognophobia... razors, single use or fancy ones with 8000 blades, trimmers, clippers, and other sinister tools of torture, destruction and death.

The companies that support or harbor these terroristic methods, it's no surprise that we have sworn to smoke them out of their holes back in 2008/2009, when B-a-B formed.

Well, beardos and stachemates, today, we are honored to let you know the tide of the war on beards is waning, it's taken a turn; a turn that will stand out as a key moment in time that you will tell your children that the wave finally broke, and rolled back.

Bloomberg reports that beardicide supporter and facial hair villain megacompany Procter & Gamble Co. (PG) has announced that everything from Brooklyn beardos, to Movember, the Red Sox WS win, and other facial hair friendly events and efforts has taken a deep cut into their grooming sales last quarter, Chief Financial Officer Jon Moeller said yesterday on an earnings call.

"P&G’s grooming business, which includes shaving cream, razor blades and deodorant, generated $2.12 billion in revenue during the quarter ended Dec. 31 and accounted for 9.5 percent of the company’s sales. Though the division’s sales rose 3 percent, excluding currency effects, John Faucher, an analyst at JPMorgan Chase & Co. in New York, said in a Jan. 13 note that sales of non-disposable razors and blades fell 7.8 percent in the 12 weeks through Dec. 21. The reason: “Increased interest in facial hair.” 

Congrats everyone, we should all be proud of our efforts, our commitment, resolve and determination to bring about this change. We thank you for teaching ogres like P&G to remember Ezekiel 25:17

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you." 

Kudos everyone. Remember this day. Onward and upward.

Thank you,

Build-a-Beard Editors

 

No Reason IS a Reason

"Men's Wearhouse fires founder George Zimmer; no reason given" read the boldfaced and large fonted LA Times headline... and my heart sank.

As you may know, George Zimmer is the highly recognizable man behind the comforting voice telling men all over the US that he guarantees they will like the way they look... the soft, raspy, paternal even, voice engulfs you as the beard on George's face engulfs his chin... and you believed him. Besides, you never quite knew if he moonlighted as the most interesting man in the world, though you suspected that he probably was.

We don't know why the company severed ties with George, nor do we know if Mr. Zimmer deserved what was coming to him... we just hope that this is not another example in pogonophobia in the corporate world, which we will not accept nor ever lay down our arms against.

There really is just one thing Men's Warehouse can do to prove to us this is not the case... name a replacement with an even bigger, bushier, longer and uncut beard.

So, members of the Men's Warehouse board, the move is yours... #proveit

In a Beard Second, Everything Can Change

We've talked about beard science recently, also beard math a while ago... so why not beard physics?

It has come to our attention from one of our fans Billiam that there is a unit of measurement called a "Beard Second." Per (aka the only source that matters in the history of the world aka throw away your text books and burn your encyclopedias) here is what it says exactly (because copy pasting is the only way to source information):

Beard-second

The beard-second is a unit of length inspired by the light-year, but used for extremely short distances such as those in nuclear physics. The beard-second is defined as the length an average beard grows in one second. Kemp Bennet Kolb defines the distance as exactly 100 angstroms,[9] (i.e. 10 nanometers), as does Nordling and Österman's Physics Handbook.[10] However, Google Calculator supports the beard-second for unit conversions using the value 5 nm,[11] i.e. half the value according to Kolb and Physics Handbook.

Via Class Hack

The item is listed in a long list of other meaning(less)ful measurements in the chapter List of humorous units of measurement which catalogues the many values "people have made use of, or invented... intended primarily for their humor value. This is a list of such units invented by sources that are notable for reasons other than having made the unit itself, and of units that are widely known in the anglophone world for their humor value."

I wonder what the conversion of beard seconds to inches is... y'know, because that'd be more useful, and probably more impressive... to measure my beard length of course...

Oscar's Golden Beard Shines Bright

Forget about the falling on the way acceptance, the drug addled 'stars,' the mile a minute gibberish, the CGI bear or even Babs making people wet in the general eye area.

The Oscars last night were all about the beard. Full stop. Below is our proof, should you need it or missed it... we could go on pasting examples of fine facial hair fortitude, but thinking you agree we've made the case when the beardiest picture won top Honors, while best actor went to the dude protraying one of history's most famous beardo. 

Congrats Ben, you deserve it... you've come a long way since your hairless child-face in Reindeer Games. Kudos.

We are tagging this post under Beard Ball, because frankly that's what it was at heart, just take a look at the volume...

From the scruff of Liev...

To Jennifer Aniston's +1's slightly bigger mass:

Credit: Getty

The sly smile on Bradley's hairy face:

Credit: GettyTo Paul Rudd's Monet beard:

Credit: Herald SunHugh's chivalrous facial hair follicleness:

Tommy Lee's mainstay and tenured beard:

George's Oceanic chin mane:

And finally all the way to three producers, three beards, three Oscars... a billion smiling fans:

 

Of course our good friends at Pop Sugar already have a poll out who wore the best beard (though a limited selection). You can vote here.

Diet Advice from a Beardly Pete Campbell

As the Business Insider reported: Vincent Kartheiser -- the actor behind Mad Men account executive Pete Campbell, resident creeper and lowlife (talking about Pete, I don't know Vincent) -- grew a beard (again). Which may make our image of him as (slightly) less creepy, maybe... you be the judge.

You may have missed this little factoid while reading the Business Insider story, since it was buried in a creepy story about his creepy diet tip that came out of the Andy Mannix story in City Pages about Kartheiser... quote:

 

"...He pulls his jeans a few inches away from his waist to prove how much weight he's already lost, exposing a pair of black briefs. Eight pounds, he says, the product of strict discipline: exercising every morning, fasting during the day, "and then I fuck at night — for a few hours, if I can." A devious grin stretches across his unshaven face, and he suddenly looks a lot like Pete Campbell..."

Credit: Tony NelsonCreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy McCreeeeepster.

'Spiral Beard,' it's a thing...

So, uh... Spiral Beards... it's a thing, and it is real. At least to spiral beard[s] and more tumblog...

Enjoy this cornucopia of what the blog founders themselves call "Taking monkey tail beards to the next level.. after the next level." Check out the site: http://spiralbeard.tumblr.com/

You're welcome?

 

 

Facebook IPO Inside Scoop

So D day is here -- F day probably is a bit crude -- Facebook is now public. You want in on the action, you want a taste of the hype, your chalice of koolaid is empty and you need a hit baaaaaaaaaaad... well, here's the inside scoop from the offices of Build-a-Beard CFO.

The FB stock wont do as good as you thought, or even as good as it should, for one simple fact we know (and you probably do too)... because of Mr. Zuckerber's (aka Zucks, aka Is that a question, aka FB CEO, aka I own your face, aka Richie Rich) facial hairlessness. A face that by all Google image research accounts has never even had as much as a stubble on his chinny chin chin.

For shame sir, you're public now... now more than ever you need to man up, grow up and like your ownership of Facebook, you need to maintain at least 53% of your face with hair. Consider this a challenge, we dare you to #proveit... or at least fund a facial hair charity like Movember, Bearduary or other facial hair cheerleaders like say... us... to help fight and stop pogonophobia.

Until then...

RIP MCA

By now you know... Adam "MCA" Yauch of Beastie Boys fame has passed away. We mourn him not only as a musical trailblazer, fellow tribesman, a great axeman, sick rhymealogist or a Brooklyn brother... we mourn him as a fellow beardsman. Even in the early days (see at the bottom) Adam was scruffy... and toward the end he was a full beardo. We will miss you, and sing your laurels for years to come, MCA. Rest in Peace.

Beard Particles and Facial Hair Electrons

I've been a little (a lot) obsessed with Brooklyn's own Pearl and the Beard after meeting them and seeing them folk out for the first time... which resulted in the darling post 10Qs with Pearl and the Beard

And it's not just Jeremy's fantastically growing chin mane (which is totally awesome by the way)...

via instagram

It's also the music, and lyrics, and the sound, and stopmping, and also sighs, oh did i mention the music? So, check out the troupe's latest video below, it's for 'Prodigal Daughter.' The kid is so cute, it'll make you forget that Jeremy's beard does not make an appearance.


NOTE: Pearl and the Beard are hitting the stage at Music Hall of Williamsburg on Thursday 2/16. Click over to their site for ticketing info.

RIP Macho Beardo

Sorry to bring you sad news on a Friday, but we have to recognize and commend a fallen beardo... a macho beardo, a beardo so macho that he wrestled dudes for over 4 decades every day in spandex pants and tassels, a beardo who's trimmed beard spoke for himself, that is when the mouth wasn't screaming OH YEAH!

That's right, you got it... we are sorry to report that Randall Mario Poffo, better known by his ring name "Macho Man" Randy Savage, died today in a car accident in Florida (as reported by TMZ)... his black (turned snow white beard), will be remembered for years to come... definitely saddened by these news, he was an early inspiration for me to grow a beard, and to eat slip jims...

We would like to posthumously award Randy the title of Beardo of the Month. OH YEAH!

(November 15, 1952 – May 20, 2011)



If You Wish Upon a Beard...

If you know anything about us here at B-a-B is that we love to give back... like a good beard or mustache giving back is a feel good and frankly easy action that we should all do/grow whenever possible, especially since it means so much to others.

Facial hair growth and charity go together like beer and beards, like staches and wax, like chops and aviators, or like goatees and crumbs.

That said, we got approached on Facebook to support a campaign that's looking to raise money for Make A Wish Foundation, which is our favorite wish making organization, via a 3 month competition to grow facial hair!

Not innovative, but still something to commend and indeed support. So if you beardos and stache-mates have a few dollars to spare, think about giving it to any one of these three gents participating in the 2011 Commonwealth Beard Competition to make a wish happen for someone needy of that out there.

- Dan Haas

- Jason Febo

- Justin Unton

Lucas Glover -- Grow It Out Grow It Proud

"I did it out of boredom in the offseason, I didn't want to shave and I kinda like it."

So sayeth Lucas Glover, the golfer and 2009 US Open Champion (not a lovechild of Star Wars and Lethal Weapon casts). He has been having quiet start to his PGA Tour season, not finishing inside the top 20 yet. He is also coming off consecutive missed cuts, most recently at the Masters, but most notably on his chin.

What Lucas is lacking in ball-striking this season he is making up with hair-growing; sporting a killer and ever thickening beard that can put Brian Wilson to shame. To be sure, unlike Wilson, Lucas is single-handedly revolutionizing the golfing image of the clean cut polo and khaki wearing ball whackers of the PGA tour... and for that, we honor you as our Beardo of the Month.

Take a bow Lucas, may the beard be with you and good luck this weekend at The Heritage.

Golden Beardos of the Failed Globes

Credit Reuters

Yeah, we're dissapointed too... and not necessarily just with the fact that Ricky Gervais disappeared halfway through the terribly edited, seated (no elbow room even for Bruce Willis?!?), bleeped, and most importantly bearded awards show... either way, conspiracy theories aside, compared to last year, this was a much hairless of a gathering, with the hottest accesory item seemingly being the baby bump and not some facial fuzz, sadly.

Even though the Globes again were hosted by the slightly more bearded (than last year) creator of the Office series, and an all around funny godless chap, Mr. Gervais... even though the beardos that did grace the red carpet and stage were nearly all corporate beardos (like myself), it does not deter the annual thought that the drab event proves again and again why awards shows are unnecessary and irrelevant (The Social Network sweeps, really? Jump the shark much?)... that said, here are our top 5 beardos at the Globes. Unlike Hollywood, we can keep a tradition going for more than a year.

#5) Scott Caan -- Like the show he was nominated for (TV series 'Hawaii Five-O'), this look's been done, and it's missing a lot...

Credit Reuters

#4) Brad Pitt/Johnny Depp -- Brad trimmed his goatee, but at least he didn't shave it... besides, great arm candy will make everything look better. Johnny is perpetually goateed, and well, he deserves to be on every list, always.

             Credit Reuters                                                Credit Reuters

#3) Ricky Gervais -- I liked his mean-ness, people need to grow a pair (especially in Cali), besides... he bested his last year scruff with a full on corporate beard. Kudos.

Credit Reuters

#2) Jake Gyllenhaal -- Is he Spiderman or Brokeback Mountain? Ah who cares, this beard is full and well groomed. B-a-B Approved!

Credit Reuters

#1) Christian Bale -- Clearly THE best effort (at least that was photographed heavily) last night... If half the audience was even 50% this bearded we would not be complaining, Christian... you fucking rock, thank you for supporting and sporting the beard.

Credit ReutersAs if there is any doubt WHY he's the only one on our list that actually collected a Golden Globe... Hollywood take note, and stop disappointing us! Take another bow Mr. Bale... you're our Beardo of the Month!

Credit Reuters

10Qs with a Stache-o Ben Davidson

Ben (or Benjamin as facebook calls him) Davidson is a man who needs an introduction... his stache however, does not.

At the 2009 World Championships, By Mathew Rainwaters

I first met Ben back stage at the National Beard and Moustache Championships in Bend Oregon this past summer, and his stache followed him everywhere, so i met it too, and what a stache it was... while of course not a match to the winner of the natural stache category in Bend, Ben's tache is something to behold, envy and of course in our case, commend.

This gent is a quiet yet fierce competitor whom has taken the gold (and bronze) both nationally, locally and even internationally (full scorebox for Ben's stache is as follows, all for natural stache category: 1st place, 2009 NYC BMC; 3rd place, 2009 World Championships in Anchorage AK; 1st place, 2010 Coney Island BMC; and most recently 1st place in the 2010 Ohio BMC, Dayton OH).

Given this track record and this being the month of the stache (Movember), we decided to award Ben the coveted (and arbitrary) title of "Beardo of the Month!" I sat down with Ben and talked bearding (or stache-ing), grooming, thunder, arm wrestling, and much much more... read on!

When did you first grow or start growing it? how long as it been since your upper lip saw any sun?
I started growing facial hair in 2007, I think. I had a small beard for a while and then shaved that off leaving just the stache in the summer of 2008. So it's been about 3 - 3 1/2 years since my upper lip saw some sun. 

How'd you get into competitive bearding (or staching in your case)?
I basically just happened upon an ad for the First Beard and Moustache Competition in Coney Island, NY in September of '08. I really had no intention of entering the contest, and just wanted to check out some crazy and hilarious facial hair. When I got there everybody said I should enter, I did, and won first place in the natural moustache category. That spurred me on to go to future competitions.

The staches are always well represented at competitions, but think often also get a back seat to the beards, why is that?
I assure you, I don't know. I suppose it could be because it can take a lot longer to grow an immense beard. I can grow my stache out in 6 months or so. Also beards are easier to see from a distance.

Aren't you happy/thankful that (THE) Jack Passion trims his stache and does not (yet?) compete in your category... be honest.
Haha, I love Jack's beard as most people do, but he derives most of his power from his beard's immense volume, and the fact that said volume is bright ass orange. If he were to shave down to just the stache he would lose some of his shock and awe. I think it would be a pretty close competition between us. I don't think I've ever seen a large orange handlebar moustache. That would be pretty sweet. But I suppose in the end, I'm pretty content with him competing in the beard category.

You had to arm-wrestle a guy at the Coney Island BNC for your title... not quite the traditional way to win, but it seemed to work in your favor (what was the age of that guy, 95?). Do you like traditional rules of say the national Competition or those on the local circuit like at Coney Island?
No way, that guy was 75 at the most! I'll take traditional rules any day. At least arm wrestling could be considered kinda manly. If anybody asks me to start singing and dancing it's over for me. I don't go there.

Let's talk grooming... Your stache is glorious, and it really really suits your face... how'd you train it to do what you want, or are you just blessed with the coveted stache gene our scientists are working tirelessly to isolate?
Well, I could go on all day about this, but I'll keep it short. I do have good moustache genes cause my hair grows fast and really straight. If you have really straight hair and a somewhat thick moustache, you can probably have a moustache similar to mine. Anyway, make sure you condition it in the shower but not too much. I have to find a happy medium, if you condition too much or too little, it frays out a lot and is harder to manage in general. Immediately when I get out of the shower I smooth it into the general shape, and put two little clips into it to hold it back away from my mouth. I leave them in just a few minutes then take them out and add some lotion. Regular hand moisturizer will do, you may have to try a few different kinds to see what works best. That's basically it. If you want to know more, hit me up on facebook or at a competition.

Seriously though, what are top 3 tips you can give on stache growing and upkeep?

  1. When you first start growing your stache, don't trim the hairs that grow from the middle of your lip. There's an awkward period when all those hairs will go in your mouth, which is kinda a pain in the ass. If you stick with it though, they will get long enough where you can spread them to the sides and they stay out of your mouth 90 percent of the time.
  2. Stay Healthy. If you're healthy, your facial hair will grow faster and more luxuriously. Have you ever seen a really fat guy with a terrible beard?
  3. Try using Elmer's glue to hold your styled stache in place. It dries in seconds and holds better than any wax I've ever tried. It washes right out with water, is non toxic and safe for kids.  

Who are your top 3 stache wearers through the years?
Rollie Fingers for sure… Ben Davidson (a football player from the 60's and 70's, he had a great stache)… I don't know... Tom Selleck?

It's Movember, or nearly the end of it, why do you think it's the staches that get the largest facial hair donations to charity each year? Our good friends at Bearduary is a distant second, but overall Movember is in a class all its own... is it just because its' easier to show the growth progress on a daily basis with staches, or is there something magical in the wax?
Because moustaches are funnier? Maybe because you have to make a concerted effort to grow a moustache. You could accidentally grow a beard, but you have to make the effort of shaving most of your face to have a stache. Also, people just want an excuse to grow a moustache.

Would you ever shave yours and start again if you couls have some high paying sponsors?
Oh Hell yes! I'd do it for low paying sponsors as well, if anybody has an offer.

Are you going to bring the thunder for the New York BMC?
I will be in attendance although, I'm still undecided about bringing the thunder…

 

P.S. While Ben's stache is amazing, and awesome, and hairy and all that... dont be fooled, Ben can grow a pretty sick ass beard too. Kudos!


Way to prove it IFC; Whisker Wars are coming!!!

We've been muzzled for far too long... we've bit our lip and chewed the stache hair long enough... we've tiptoed around this... we've yearned for it and willed it on... so today, we say enough!

Competitive Bearding will be coming to the Boob Tube!!!

“Whisker Wars” A non-fiction series set in the world of competitive facial hair growing which profiles a group of men from the National Beard and Mustache Championship in Bend, Oregon to the World Competition in Norway. Produced by Original Productions, a FremantleMedia Company; executive produced by Thom Beers and Philip D. Segal, co-executive produced by  Jeff Conroy. -- Read more

Do we know more? Why yes, we do? Have we been prepping you without your knowledge? Why yes, subliminal bearding has been going on (see our Q&As with: Jack Passion, Myk O'Connor, The Judges of BeardStacheNats, and (Magnificent SpeciMAN) Dave Mead, in addition to overall coverage of The Winners of The National Beard and Mustache Championships)... it was hard to hold tight and wait for a green light, but it's here, and it's shining bright!

Stay tuned for more and more and set your DVRs, TiVo's or VCRs and we'll keep you posted, whether subliminally or directly... but know this, TV will never be the same. SUPPORT THE BEARDS!

Hairy Comment on a Beardy Subject

We dont often (actually never) re-purpose comments made on our posts by our bearded brethren... but god damn, when impeccable hairy passion shines through our pages... we must and always will call you out for such amazing displays of hirsute protection. 

Anyway, enter Stephen Arthur Alexander Jr proud member of: The Gem City Gentlemen of the Gilded Beard... and with his antipogonophobic rant, he's proved it pretty hardcore. You sir, wear your passion like people should wear a beard... proudly. Kudos... also, nice burns bro, real nice.

  "I must say this is a travesty, to not have a Bearded or Mustached president since 1913!! I won't stand for it, we need to raise up as one Bearded nation and take back the oval office and change these discriminatory rules and regulations that do not allow the Bearded to work certain jobs. We are people to gosh darn it!! We need to work and we want to be able to express ourselves while doing it, because after all isn't that what is nation was build on, freedom? God bless all of you Bearded men out there that are still trying to fight for your right to grow that Beard long and proud. Keep up the fight and who knows, maybe one day we will have a Bearded or Mustached President once more and all of the Beard hate will wither and die away and we can stand up and say: I have a Beard and I am proud to have it!" -- Stephen Arthur Alexander Jr

 

Hear hear Stephen, hear hear...