You've probably seen this around all over the interwebs and the cyberspaces... and you had to know it'd get to this, right? If you're a beard wearing man (or beard loving woman), or not, you will nod your head in approval here... or not. If you're fed up with this meme, remember to not blame the beard!
(thank you Bayou Beard Association for the tip)
For those that have seen WAY too many of these meme fails around already... this is for you:
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Yeah, we're dissapointed too... and not necessarily just with the fact that Ricky Gervais disappeared halfway through the terribly edited, seated (no elbow room even for Bruce Willis?!?), bleeped, and most importantly bearded awards show... either way, conspiracy theories aside, compared to last year, this was a much hairless of a gathering, with the hottest accesory item seemingly being the baby bump and not some facial fuzz, sadly.
Even though the Globes again were hosted by the slightly more bearded (than last year) creator of the Office series, and an all around funny godless chap, Mr. Gervais... even though the beardos that did grace the red carpet and stage were nearly all corporate beardos (like myself), it does not deter the annual thought that the drab event proves again and again why awards shows are unnecessary and irrelevant (The Social Network sweeps, really? Jump the shark much?)... that said, here are our top 5 beardos at the Globes. Unlike Hollywood, we can keep a tradition going for more than a year.
#5) Scott Caan -- Like the show he was nominated for (TV series 'Hawaii Five-O'), this look's been done, and it's missing a lot...
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#4) Brad Pitt/Johnny Depp -- Brad trimmed his goatee, but at least he didn't shave it... besides, great arm candy will make everything look better. Johnny is perpetually goateed, and well, he deserves to be on every list, always.
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#3) Ricky Gervais -- I liked his mean-ness, people need to grow a pair (especially in Cali), besides... he bested his last year scruff with a full on corporate beard. Kudos.
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#2) Jake Gyllenhaal -- Is he Spiderman or Brokeback Mountain? Ah who cares, this beard is full and well groomed. B-a-B Approved!
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#1) Christian Bale -- Clearly THE best effort (at least that was photographed heavily) last night... If half the audience was even 50% this bearded we would not be complaining, Christian... you fucking rock, thank you for supporting and sporting the beard.
Credit ReutersAs if there is any doubt WHY he's the only one on our list that actually collected a Golden Globe... Hollywood take note, and stop disappointing us! Take another bow Mr. Bale... you're our Beardo of the Month!
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Enough is enough... the beards are not to be messed with, and once pushed too far, we will come back thicker, darker and more rich with vigor (aka longer and uncut) than ever before! Billboards are one thing, but this 'shaving culture' that seems to be rearing it's ugly bald head during the last month of this year of our lord, the year of the beard, is disgusting... and feeding this shaved beast is ill advised, especially during Decembeard.
Our favorite goatee winner from last year's globes, THE dude, el Duderino himself (and the star of both “Tron: Legacy” and “True Grit”) will be hosting “Saturday Night Live” tonight... which was supposed to be a Christmas SNL to remember. Now it will be one we'll never forget... ever.
Our dear Jeff Bridges seems to have followed in the sad ways of Zach G. from last march, when the reTARD succumbed to corporate pressure and shaved during his hosting stint at SNL... well, we are calling BULLSHIT on this 'comedy show' that seems to be filled with writers seemingly unable (or worse yet, unwilling) to let their creative juices flow to write skits for furry faces... FOR SHAME we say.
Just like the dreaded NY Yankees are known for destroying chin manes of incoming players, so too does SNL seem to prey on facial fuzz heroes, mandating a shiny chin for the supposed honor to host their 'show'. Well, mission accomplished... not only have they destroyed yet another beardo hero, but they have ruined Christmas, a holiday usually full of beards and hairy cheer we love so much...
So, today we call for an outright BOYCOTT of SNL! Not until Jeff's beard grows back, but until they let a bearded brethren once again host and grace their stage with hairy fortitude. And perhaps moreover, until they admit their pogonophobic ways and REPENT! Until then, we are sorry to bring you the clip below, which was used as a promo for tonight's episode, showing His Dudeness taking a buzzer to his sweet sweet beard... it really tied the whole face together Jeff, you are out of your element!
FAIL!