"If you can grow it with quality, do it. If you can't, no offense, but don't. Be humble yet proud—let people know it's not a joke." -- BURKE
So begins our interview with the world's youngest bearding champion Burke T. Kenny, the judge that eluded us for a Q&A at the National's, the beardo whose ghost we so loved at Dave Mead's event in NYC... the guy whom we shared a brew (or 4 or 10), the one whose top-hat skills are like no others, and the dude whom we've tried to nail down an interview for MONTHS now, finally sat down with me on his way to Norway.
Burke is somewhat of an enigma, he is humble but bold, young but mature, full beard but styled mustache, judge but a competitor, a competitor and a dominator. He is 3 for 3 in 2011 American Facial Hair Competitions (after a long hiatus): West Coast BMC in Oregon, Misprint Magazine BMC in Texas, and Motor City BMC in Michigan (via our awesome friends at GAFBO). He's now off to the Worlds in Norway, where we wish him and ALL of BTUSA to drink the metallic taste of German blood by the Stein-full... USA USA USA!!!
Sorry to say that at national's I was too late in my arrival and missed your band's performance... what style of music do you play and have you mastered the idea of beard banging?
We call ourselves Hitchkick and we're a heavy bottomed blues rock power trio from Olympia, Washington. Robby Thompson plays drums, Casey Meehan plays guitar and sings. I play my American Standard Jazz Bass, using mostly fingered and some doublethumb slap techniques (no picks). Electric bass is a sturdy girl of an instrument and deserves to be caressed by flesh, not plastic. My rig is a Gallien-Krueger 800RB solid state amplifier run through an SWR Henry The 8X8 speaker cabinet. I'm not much of a beard banger, but I do get some serious boot stompin' going.
What are your top musical inspirations... any crossover to the hirsute inspirations? Give us a top 3 for each 'genre'.
I grew up with feel-good oldies and classic rock, but also enjoy heavy metal, progressive rock, hair metal, power ballads, movie and video game soundtracks, and 80s & 90s pop. I was originally a guitarist, so in that respect my inspirations include Ed Van Halen, SRV, Jimmy Page, Steve Vai, David Gilmour, John Petrucci, and Leo Kottke. As a bassist, Geddy Lee, Les Claypool, Louis Johnson, John Paul Jones, Larry Graham, Justin Chancellor, Victor Wooten, and Rob DeLeo. Aside from my father, my initial hirsute inspirations are 60s & 70s classic rock bands.
As you know yours is one of our favorite Dave Mead pictures, and frankly clearly one of the best styled mustaches that goes with a full beard... what's your secret? do you wax, glue, spray? Use beer cans for curlers?
Well, save for natural growing ability, my secret is hairspray and a blow-dryer. I learned this technique by observing Heinz Christophel in a Manhattan hostel bathroom in 2006. Yes, it achieves unbelievable gravity defying styles; however I only utilize it for competition or rare special occasions. Why? It takes a considerable amount of time and patience to complete, it smells horrible, it complicates eating and drinking, that being said it tastes horrible, and finally it leads to the eventual thinning and deterioration of facial hair.
We've had a great time that Friday night in Bend before the competition, perhaps too great of a time (perhaps too much Boneyard beer?), and you were late to the press conference... there is no question here, just asking for a comment on that great night with you, Jack, Devin, COMBS guys and Boneyard crew.
That was truly the greatest recreational day and rock star night I've ever had. My band mates and I spent the day exploring lava tubes, lava buttes, and the surrounding molten lands, all for the National Park entry fee/lantern rental of $9. We returned to town for setup and sound check at the Old Stone Church, then watched as hoards of beardsmen and a camera crew arrived fresh from the Deschutes Brewery. We played our gig under the symbol of John Bonham (totally unplanned—it just happened to be there in the window of the church), and in retrospect all consider it our greatest gig ever. During our encore I was rocking and sweating so much my top hat kept sliding down over my eyes, which for the record has NEVER happened before, hahaha. Afterwards we were invited to the Boneyard Brewery, where delicious beer flowed for free and good times were had by all. Oh and of course I formally (and drunkenly) met you, Alex. Later at the hotel we took a soak in the hot tub, and in the elevator upon return to our room I had to manhandle my drummer to keep him from kicking the control panel! The next morning after a wretched 6am-11am slumber I crawled out of bed to bathe and yes, appeared late to the official Beard Team USA press conference. I was ridiculed for my tardiness, however was quite smug in my excuse, which was “I was up all night drinking with my band. For free.” As it should be.
And regardless of that great time you didn't think me deserving of advancing to the next round in the competition? I had suspenders, a zoot suit, AND a briefcase... oh did a mention my beard... as a judge, tell me, what did I do wrong?
First I must clarify: I was only one judge on a panel of eight, all hailing from different individual backgrounds, race, class, gender, etcetera. Also, there were few categories at the 2010 Beard Team USA Nationals, resulting in broad styles and large numbers in each category. You competed in Freestyle Beard, which pitted you against men with wacky, extravagant styles that seem to say, “look at me!” I wouldn't say you did anything wrong, but your style did not fit that description. The same would have been true if you'd have competed in Full Beard. Though not always about length, it's proven to be a huge factor in that category. My advice to you is to participate in competitions that have more categories. At the World's there are 17, and you'd fit well in the Verdi category, which is a short, trimmed, sharp looking beard with a prominent moustache.
Talking about competitions... you were the youngest competitor at a BMC ever. Tell us about 2005 in Berlin, you roomed with another youngster, a certain unknown by the name of Jack Passion.
Yes, my first ever competition was the 2005 World Beard & Moustache Championships in Berlin, and I was the youngest competitor at age 20. I took 5th place in the Full Beard Styled Moustache category, which has proven to be the category that best suits my abilities. Most of the beards and moustaches I was up against were older than me. Phil Olsen had arranged for me to room with the 2nd youngest competitor, a 21 year old named Jack Passion, and the two of us became fast friends. Aside from a few twenty-somethings scattered here and there, we were the only younguns and the rest were two to three times our age. Since then we've become brothers, best friends, traveling companions, world champions, poster boys, rock stars, trendsetters, role models, and inspiration for younger generations. Nowadays our names (and beards) go hand-in-hand like bread and butter, peas and carrots, Page and Plant, Tyler and Perry, Axl and Slash, Van Halen and Lee Roth, MARTY MCFLY and EMMETT “DOC” BROWN!! We are the true keepers of the Old Guard and have the quality and honor to receive the passed torch held high and proud with fist in the air.
Speaking of youngsters... you hold one title that nobody can ever (ever, likely) take away... you're the YOUNGEST world champion beardo. How'd you manage that title win in 2007 in the UK? People must've underestimated you until it was too late.
Ah yes, at age 22, I won Full Beard Styled Moustache at the 2007 World Beard & Moustache Championships in Brighton, England. Honestly I had no idea or expectation of winning. I've found it’s how you must go into these things—if you get your hopes up, talk a big game, give the stink eye to your fellow competitors—you're missing the point. These competitions are held in a different country every two years, and are organized and judged by different teams or clubs each time. The judging, though somewhat general in criteria, is mostly subjective, so there's no guarantee you'll win. If you go in with a big ego and end up losing, you'll look like a total asshole! Right?! I feel it's about honor, participation, self expression, making new friends and expanding cultural horizons. This should be the prevalent content of character of men who wear such elegant facial hair.
Now, about my win, I'd trimmed my beard nice and neat, and styled my moustache big. I also had the perfect backdrop to accentuate my moustache: the round brim of my top hat. I didn't realize it at the time, but later upon viewing photos of my entire category shoulder to shoulder, I was the only competitor whose moustache was viewable from the back row of the Brighton Centre. The two other finalists in the category were men of serious beard length and reputation, however contrary to popular belief it's not always about size or length.
You said you became the poster boy for facial hair... Regis and Kelly, a Topps deal, the whole nine... was the world ready for your spokesman-ship? How'd you deal with the fame?
After winning at the 2007 WBMC, I appeared on several Seattle based talk shows, and was interviewed by numerous local newspapers and magazines. I then signed a deal with Topps trading card company to be featured in their 2009 Allen & Ginter's World's Champions set. I was crowned Grand Champion at the 2009 New York City BMC, and was invited on Live with Regis and Kelly the following day. I'd say the world was ready for my spokesmanship. Not to toot my own horn but I consider myself a humble, well spoken young man. The fame part was easy because when you look like me you get used to being stared at all the time.
On to Alaska... spill it... let me just say, that I know some not all of the dirty gritty details of lame and corrupt judging/organizing practices, but I'll just let you fill in the history... Go!
Well as I said before, I go into competition with a modest demeanor. I don't talk shit or get up in people's faces. I look them in the eye, shake their hand, introduce myself, and wish them luck in the competition. This is exactly what I did at the 2009 WBMC in Alaska, regardless of the media attention I received asking me how I was “sizing up my competition as the reigning champion” or if I “thought I had a win in the bag.” I've been told I step up the competition just by showing up, because in addition to my beard and moustache, I have a proud, intimidating look about me. I've also been told it's general knowledge that I got robbed in Alaska. There are plenty behind the scenes politics at these competitions, as well as the factor of the home court advantage. It's difficult to not get suspicious when the individual who chose the judges wins the competition, and also happens to be the one upset by my victory in 2007. On top of that the “head judge” (who basically puppeteered the other judges) happened to be the significant other of the individual who belittles Beard Team USA, and runs a club I'm not involved with here in Washington State. Look, although I've become a poster boy for BTUSA, I'm not a cheerleader. For the record I consider myself for the most part independent.
Water under the bridge... you are looking up and to Norway... what do you do to prepare, how do you get the rust from under the follicles and get back into the competitive mindset?
At the 2010 BTUSA Nationals in Oregon I chose to step down from competition, and instead took a seat on the judge's panel. This was my way to remedy the corrupt injustice I had experienced, as well as giving me a new perspective on facial hair competitions in general. I must say it was great, although I never realized how truly difficult it is. I wish everyone who deserved to could've won, but unfortunately there can only be one 1st place winner in each category.
I recently returned to competition at the 2011 West Coast BMC in Portland, Oregon, and took 1st place in Full Beard Styled Moustache. I also competed in the 2011 Misprint Magazine BMC in Austin, Texas, where I took 1st place in the Best Groomed category. That makes me two for two with sights set on the 2011 WBMC in Norway. It feels good to be back at the top of my game. It hasn't been an easy road though. There is a camera crew corrupting the outcome of recent events to suit their agenda and who they've chosen as main characters, and, my employer of 6 years, Ramblin' Jacks Restaurant, suddenly and unexpectedly laid me off and replaced me with a non-English speaking Hispanic boy.
Jon Rice"Is Jack Passion really a dick? Are the Texas guys really that petty? How much of that show is real?" cooed a Whisker Wars superfan whose own whiskers appeared about as old as the series. Myk O'Connor and Jon Rice, who were waiting in the same will call line, were patient and polite, neither of them indulging in the opportunity to perpetuate the hype.
