Pennsylvania Dutch

Fear and Loathing in Lancaster

The Second Annual Beard Team USA National Beard and Moustache Championships is kicking off it's multiple days of activity today, with the final (and main) event being held on October 8, 2011 at the Clipper Magazine Stadium, in Lancaster, Pennsylvania... home of the fighting Amish (no, not really, it's actually Lancaster Barnstormers).

There are a few things different this year than the inaugural contest last year in Bend Oregon... Yes, Jack Passion is still MCing, it is still a total of $5000 ($1000 per category) in cash to be awarded to the winners and yes there will be beards and staches and goatees and fake beards (on friday)... but two glaring differences are of note: The competition will take place in five (not 4) categories, he newbie being the full beard groomed category, in addition to the moustache, partial beard, full beard natural, and freestyle. 

And perhaps most importantly... Build-a-Beard will (begrudgingly) bow out of competition, and even attendance, this year... Sad, shocking, yes we know... but we have holy reasons for doing so, trust us.

That said, we will be there in spirit, and in body... not our body but another beardo, John Benedict (aka America's Beard) filling in as the first ever freelance beard scout and B-a-B blogger. John will not only be one with the bearded Amish, he will compete, he will drink, he will report back and he will be awesome... his beard and his energy will not disappoint (no pressure, John).

John Pfund: Warriors Come Out To Play

Bucks County, Pennsylvania, is known for its dining, lodging, restaurants, and real estate, but there is a far more impressive offering in this area - John Pfund's beard (aka: Pfund).

This 23 year old, ex-Northeastern football player, known for his drinking, sloth-like abilities, and fast women (according to my little brother) - left me speechless.  The beard possess an air of grandeur and has an exceptional gnome-like quality.  

Proof below ---





If the rumors are true...

And Facebook murmurs seldom aren't... Then the Beard Team USA 2011 National Championships will be held in Lancaster, PA! The inaugural National Beard and Mustache Championships held in Bend OR last year was an insanely hairy affair, and frankly... not sure if it can be topped. That said, IF the situation was such that it could be topped, it would only be if it was held in the depths of Amish country, Lancaster County... some may even call it, an Amish Paradise.

According to sources including, but not limited to, Wikipedia (clearly we only rely on the most respectable of sources for our info...) Lancaster County is known as the Garden Spot of America or Pennsylvania Dutch Country, and is a popular tourist destination, due mostly to its many plain sect residents, known as the Amish. Lancaster, PA, first known as Hickory Town when it was settled in 1709 and is now known as the Red Rose City. Lancaster was the largest inland town in America from the 1760s through the early 1800s. It was our nation's capital for just one day on September 27, 1777. The reason for this is because our government had to flee Philadelphia because of the British troops. They stopped in Lancaster on their way to York, PA. Lancaster also served as the capital of Pennsylvania from 1799-1812.

      

Now about them bearded brethren from the Dutch lands... Why do Amish men have beards, but not mustaches? (answer from Amish FAQ site, seriously)

There are quite a few scriptures that mention beards in the Bible. An example would be Psalm 133:1,2. An Amishman does not shave his beard after he becomes married. A long beard is the mark of an adult Amishman. Mustaches, on the other hand, have a long history of being associated with the military, and therefore are forbidden among the Amish people.

 

There... Consider yourself informed. Given the driving distance from Brooklyn... we are nearly certain to attend (and perhaps even resurrect the corporate beard entry), if all the above remains factual and the rumors fortify into truth, of course.