In a Beard Second, Everything Can Change

We've talked about beard science recently, also beard math a while ago... so why not beard physics?

It has come to our attention from one of our fans Billiam that there is a unit of measurement called a "Beard Second." Per (aka the only source that matters in the history of the world aka throw away your text books and burn your encyclopedias) here is what it says exactly (because copy pasting is the only way to source information):

Beard-second

The beard-second is a unit of length inspired by the light-year, but used for extremely short distances such as those in nuclear physics. The beard-second is defined as the length an average beard grows in one second. Kemp Bennet Kolb defines the distance as exactly 100 angstroms,^[9] (i.e. 10 nanometers), as does Nordling and Österman's Physics Handbook.^[10] However, Google Calculator supports the beard-second for unit conversions using the value 5 nm,^[11] i.e. half the value according to Kolb and Physics Handbook.

Via Class Hack

The item is listed in a long list of other meaning(less)ful measurements in the chapter List of humorous units of measurement which catalogues the many values "people have made use of, or invented... intended primarily for their humor value. This is a list of such units invented by sources that are notable for reasons other than having made the unit itself, and of units that are widely known in the anglophone world for their humor value."

I wonder what the conversion of beard seconds to inches is... y'know, because that'd be more useful, and probably more impressive... to measure my beard length of course...

If the rumors are true...

And Facebook murmurs seldom aren't... Then the Beard Team USA 2011 National Championships will be held in Lancaster, PA! The inaugural National Beard and Mustache Championships held in Bend OR last year was an insanely hairy affair, and frankly... not sure if it can be topped. That said, IF the situation was such that it could be topped, it would only be if it was held in the depths of Amish country, Lancaster County... some may even call it, an Amish Paradise.

According to sources including, but not limited to, Wikipedia (clearly we only rely on the most respectable of sources for our info...) Lancaster County is known as the Garden Spot of America or Pennsylvania Dutch Country, and is a popular tourist destination, due mostly to its many plain sect residents, known as the Amish. Lancaster, PA, first known as Hickory Town when it was settled in 1709 and is now known as the Red Rose City. Lancaster was the largest inland town in America from the 1760s through the early 1800s. It was our nation's capital for just one day on September 27, 1777. The reason for this is because our government had to flee Philadelphia because of the British troops. They stopped in Lancaster on their way to York, PA. Lancaster also served as the capital of Pennsylvania from 1799-1812.

      

Now about them bearded brethren from the Dutch lands... Why do Amish men have beards, but not mustaches? (answer from Amish FAQ site, seriously)

There are quite a few scriptures that mention beards in the Bible. An example would be Psalm 133:1,2. An Amishman does not shave his beard after he becomes married. A long beard is the mark of an adult Amishman. Mustaches, on the other hand, have a long history of being associated with the military, and therefore are forbidden among the Amish people.

There... Consider yourself informed. Given the driving distance from Brooklyn... we are nearly certain to attend (and perhaps even resurrect the corporate beard entry), if all the above remains factual and the rumors fortify into truth, of course.

Update on 2011-02-21 02:14 by Buildabeard

CONFIRMED! From BTUSA HQ:

The Second Annual Beard Team USA National Beard and Moustache Championships will take place in Lancaster, Pennsylvania next fall.  Cash prizes totaling $5000 will be awarded to the best facial hair in America.  The exact date will be either September 24 or October 1, 2011 and will be determined soon.

Beard Team USA, which represents the United States at the World Beard and Moustache Championships, is thrilled to be holding the championships in Amish Country, where the local Amish farmers have been growing beards for America for over 200 years.  As part of the festivities, contestants, their friends, and fans will have the opportunity to attend Amish Camp, where they can live with and like the Amish for 24 hours.

Last year’s inaugural national championships were held in Bend, Oregon.  Over two hundred spectacularly bearded and moustachioed contestants vied for top honors in four separate categories before a panel of distinguished judges that included Miss Oregon and Mr. Sirwan Singh, according to the Guiness Book of World Records the man with the world’s longest beard.

The contest is open to all.  More details to follow.  Subscribe or join Beard Team USA (It’s free and open to everyone) to stay updated.

Beard Building

We are not the only ones thinking about building beards... surely we've seen other blogs and sites that reference the build-a-beard moniker, but looks like the ultimate honor has to go to Canada, for erecting the Beard Building at the turn of the century... kudos.

Here's the download for all you architecture buffs (our Brooklyn Beard King included)... check out the brick beard while you're at it, our kind of builder!

(mostly via Wikipedia) The Beard Building is regarded as Toronto's first skyscraper, and was completed in 1894. Designed by E.J. Lennox, It was planned to be a nine-story, iron-framed structure, but it only reached seven stories when completed and was a more traditional wood/brick combination.

At the height (har har har) of its' time, the Beard Building was a bank at street level, a commercial and office tower, and a hotel. The building was named after George Beard, the original landowner of the site at Jarvis St. and King St. East.

Sadly, it was demolished in the mid 1930s, but surrounding structures, including St. Lawrence Hall, in the intersection survive to this day. The current site is occupied by a low rise condo development... depressing.