That's the cry of R. A. Dickey of the Mets in response to Tina Taps, the U.S. Open’s director of ball persons (yes, you a) read that correctly b) this job exists) when she told him that in order to be a ball boy for Nikolay Davydenko’s misses, he would need to shave.
According to The New York Times, Dickey was asked if he would be willing to shave for the opportunity to crouch by a net, sweat, and field balls. As of now, he is unsure.
“I would prefer that they embrace me with beard. Especially for $7.75 an hour.”
BaB agrees. $7.75 per hour vs. a month (or two) of real dedication and manhood does not add up. Plus, if R.A. shaves and his record (9-5) with the Mets begins to deteriorate, Major League Baseball might have some choice words for the U.S. Open.
When Taps (Director of Ball Persons) was informed that Dickey loves his beard, thankfully, she stated that she would not rule out the possibility of a "one-time whisker waiver."
We will hold our breath and hope that R.A. keeps his bearded awesomeness growing. Oh and U.S. Open, go beard or go home.
The U.S. Special Forces, aka Green Berets, are a special operations force of the U.S. Army tasked with six primary missions: unconventional warfare, foreign internal defense, special reconnaissance, direct action, hostage rescue and counter-terrorism. The first two emphasize language, cultural, and training skills in working with foreign troops.
So it comes as sad news to BaB, that after almost a decade of growing long beards to emphasize deep respect for Afghanistan's bearded culture, many of our elite have been ordered to shave their beards. Seems veteran ops are complaining that they are not taken seriously by local leaders due to their facial fuzz, and they need these pillars of the community to trust them in order to gain intelligence into another bearded force - the Taliban.
Those in charge have stated clearly that they want "a professional looking" soldier in the field. Do those sporting beards really have the stigma of being uncouth amateurs incapable of serving our country? Wouldn't the beard also offer some sort of natural camouflage to our troops, as I'd assume it is pretty easy to tell who the American is when all, but two guys have beards?
Commanders report that beards are "sending the wrong message" to the communities overseas, but that said, special ops living in or near villages can keep their beards, "but are encouraged to adopt the traditional Afghan pokol cap instead of a billed cap."
*sigh*
What do you think? Should special ops be forced to shave? Does it send the wrong message? Ever have a personal experience at work where you were asked to run to a razor? Professionalism questioned?
Wired'sThe Future that Never Happened discusses the technology that never quite caught on. In the August issue, Will Ferrell takes a moment to add an edible fake beard (that tastes great not terrible) to his wish list of items that someone needs to invent.
To quote Will: "How many time have I thought to myself - Boy I wish I could eat my fake beard."
We were happy to see that The New York Post wrote about beards this morning, but it's lame they focused on "the vacation beard." Beards are not solely meant for escape purposes - it's about the reality of commitment. It's about letting go of societal pressures - ignoring your nagging girlfriend, meeting the stares of your judging colleagues, scratching your beard in front of your boss - and being proud of the time and dedication it took to grow it out.
Quote The Post: "Nothing boasts I just got back from a sweet trip quite like the vacation beard. It’s bold. It’s triumphant. And undeniably a bit bad-ass."
We agree, but remember that beards are bad-ass all year round. A vacation beardo is not scoring any points with us unless you keep it. If you grow some nice scruff, but shortly thereafter run to the razor, you join the ranks of Jon Stewart (who shaved 3 days later referencing his family as the main reason for falling onto the blade), Conan O'Brien, Zach Galifianakis*, Brad Pitt, Jayson Werth, Iker Casillas, and Jon Hamm.
*Zach, on a personal note, I will always love you and appreciate you growing it back. Call me.
Sometimes, as reporters of all things hirsute, we need to cover a topic that might make most of our readers blush (or take for instance, this co-founder). I wouldn't consider myself a prude, but as I stumbled upon Heckler Spray this morning, perhaps I should rethink that. Heckler reported that a woman (I am hesitant to call her a singer/songwriter at this point) by the name of Majela Zeze Diamond has written a song about having sex with bearded men - and writes explicitly about the joys it brings to her... shall we say... erogenous zones.
This Internet "star" has been quoted as saying, "Men are good for money, sex and vagina," but her recent “I love having sex with bearded men” video is why we're covering her today.
So... Did you happen to catch the brand new TBS promo that aired last night for Conan O'Brien?! If not you can find it below.
Pretty neat, nifty, even cute... but also mysterious. We are starting a #conansbeardwatch at once, because we really dislike ambiguity, especially when it comes for facial hair. Now is the time to prove it Conan, and prove it you must... do it for Brookline High School, do it for me... nay, us!
So, will he? Won't he? Shouldn't he?! Well, he better! And we'll be watching... unless... they did this just to boost ratings... no way would a media personality and company ever do this to its fans, right?!
Oh. My. God... not only am I disgusted at the sheer thought of writing up a post on this mop top character, teen 'singer' and prepubescent 'dancer' Justin Bieber, but perhaps even more so about his apparent decision to take Estrogen to stunt the growth of his facial hair...
Justin, if that is your real name... you need to realize that side effects of men, let alone boys, taking Estrogen are perhaps even greater than the social reverberations of your decision to shun facial hair's inaugural appearance on your chin.
That said, B-a-B did some research for the pros and cons of taking Estrogen for the male species... just as an FYI and warning to all those that may be motivated to follow in your tiny hairless footsteps.
As you may know, if you were a normal 15 y/o who took Bio in school... Estrogen is a hormone produced in the female and male bodies, it is mainly responsible for the growth of femalesexual characteristics. Men, however, also produce estrogen, levels of which often increase with age.
Cons
Bloating -- Increased estrogen levels cause the body to retain water, which leads to bloating and the swelling of legs and ankles. *How will you dance?!
Sex Drive -- Increased estrogen levels in men can decrease sex drive. The excess estrogen levels lowers sperm count and testosterone levels. *How will you... um, never mind. Well maybe you really shouldn't reproduce...
Breasts -- Men who take estrogen can suffer soreness in their breasts. Swollen breasts and tenderness of the breast can also occur. *Fact: If a boy gets breasts he'll become a hermit... think of the fans.
Cancer -- Increased estrogen levels in men can lead to cancer. Prostate cancer has been linked to high estrogen levels in men. *This is self explanatory...
Pros
Fractures -- Estrogen helps the body increase calcium absorbed in the body. Low estrogen levels in males can lead to greater risk of fractures, especially hip fractures. *You can just drink milk. Get a milk stache contract and get paid, what's the issue?!
To help sway you in the right (read: sane) direction our good friends at withabeard.com have helped us visualize how great a beard would look on your chin. Take a look and make the right (again, sane) decision... note: sure we could've made a compilation of the alternative look -- saggy boobs, limp dick, and bloated ankles -- but that would be in poor taste... GROW IT OUT, GROW IT PROUD!
Estrogen helps the body increase calcium absorbed in the body. Low estrogen levels in males can lead to greater risk of fractures, especially hip fractures.
Welcome to the inaugural edition of this (soon to be) recurring feature on B-a-B... you may have seen us protect the image of beards on Twitter with this call to action, perhaps even on Facebook and Tumblr... so we decided to take it to the blog, since issues keep on arising.
We call it simply... Don't Blame The Beard!
For every awesome beard there seem to be misguided beardos, law enforcement officers, brash public conclusions, thesmokinggun.com and many many other platforms that just seem to jump to conclusions... as such, we have taken it upon ourselves to combat the narrow minded state of pogonophobic public by a targeted campaign aimed at distancing acts of detriment by beardos to the beardo nation.
That said, not every beard will get our protection under these parameters... only the ones deserving and worthy will reap the benefits of our other cheek philosophy.
Today's DBTBcandidate is 61-year-old Eddie M. Campbell from Belle WV... who, according to the Kanawha County Sheriff's Department (and WSAZ-News Channel 3), was caught at Booker T. Washington Memorial Park in Malden with his shirt off and his pants around his ankles... he was detained for committing "lewd acts" with a mannequin.
So, all you readers... spread our words, and DO NOT, under any circumstance, blame this awesome white mutton-chop beard, for the actions of the man attached to it... and you, Eddie... zip up, put your shirt back on, and take a bow... you're the inaugural member of our DBTB community!
Continuing what seems to be a Hollywood theme to this week's posts -- perhaps tied to the fact that Riss is headed to LA today, or perhaps it's serving as a reminder for B-a-B about our Beard Ball LA promise -- whatever the reason, the everything is fake in LA perspective is further reinforced when looking at celebrity beards, in movies that is...
John C. Reilly's version of the eccentric Gershon in the upcoming "The Extra Man" is a fantastic example of a (fake) beard. It's pretty awesome; bushy, curly, colorful and natural... just like we like it, only fake.
We love you, we always loved you, we love you even more now that you're embracing facial hair (even if in part, Go Beard or Go Home!)... but Jon... as we've noted, by way (THE) Jack Passion's bearding philosophy... Beardos need not explain their beards, nor reasoning for wearing a beard... a beard chooses you Jon, not the other way around.
That said, Jon's explanation as to why he went bearded is pretty funny:
"The truth is I'm a Japanese snow monkey. I've been hiding that from people and I can't live that lie anymore."
But... to his credit, Jon did indeed take "beard rubbing" to the next level this week, when he and Wyatt Cenac engaged in the act on 7/26... I consider this my Birthday present, thanks Jon.
As everyone and their mother, girlfriend, sister (and so on and so forth) knows, Brad Pitt (of Brangelina fame) had been growing his much-discussed beard for about a year... and when he so clearly and significantly trimmed it down last month, we all knew he was preparing to get rid of it.
Well, earlier this month, the day finally came... I say finally because even though B-a-B is categorically against shaving, there is only one other thing that cuts us deeper... and that's black eyes to the facial hair aficionados everywhere.
Brad's beard drew so much criticism that we were afraid it would derail all the work our community has done in building up the profile of beards... we do not want to go back into the dark ages of beard hatred and pogonophobia, so if that means supporting Brad's shave... so be it.
That said, it was a pretty cool beard... RIP Brad Pitt's Goat, we hardly knew yee... you were infamous, which is like really really famous.
As if you needed another reason to love the seminal actor of such cinematographic behemoths like The Godfather, The Godfather Part II and Apocalypse Now... well, here are 5 more reasons we dig Robert Duvall, whom is promoting an independent drama “Get Low,” which opens in limited release on Friday.
1) He looks pretty bitchin with a beard (as if there was any doubt)!
2) He makes the bushy beard look natural... he accomplished this with the help of great makeup artists... the big beard above is actually fake (taking 45 minutes to an hour a day to apply), but attached to his own beard which was used later in the movie.
3) He has a "guy from Italy" who makes him his beards... freaking awesome... the lap of luxury, or should we say chin.
You can check out a nice Q&A with the man himself in the Wall Street Journal, here:
It has come to my attention that El Beardo has done something crazy. I don't know how to break it to our loyal readers and supporters, but he shaved. There, I said it. Best to rip the band aid off quickly. But that said, to add more salt into our gaping wound, he shaved for a corporate work event.
I remember when Alex did something like this two years ago - same corporate event - that resulted in the following look:
But it seems that today, July 7th, 2010, will be a date which will live in infamy as our beloved beard has taken a blade to his face and magically changed into El 'Stache:
Alex will write an update to this post once the corporate event concludes. In the meantime, please feel free to leave your condolences in the comment section.
Dale Earnhardt Jr. claimed victory this past Friday while driving the No. 3 in the Nationwide Series race at Daytona. Dale Jr. said the only acceptable outcome to the race was winning - that "if he was going to drive his father’s old No. 3 there was no point in coming in fifth." Dale Jr. then took a moment to thank his beard and beer for the win - noting that he started the year with it, shaved it off to do a commercial, then grew it back.
“I grew the beard back because I've been running better, y'all. Have y'all not matched it up? We had those first 10 races where we hauled ass, then I shaved, we ain't running worth a darn. Then I grew the beard back. Also I started drinking beer on Monday. I don't know. The beard ain't got its own personality. The beard does have a Facebook page, but it's not a real person, it's just a beard on my face.”
He concluded by stating -- “I drink beer every Monday and I grew a beard back. Those two things seem to be helping me. So really those two things deserve the most credit.”
All of those with facial hair are welcome to compete and the fee to enter is $40. To watch the championship, The Whisker Club is asking that spectators pay $20, BUT this fee includes a buffet lunch with proceeds going to The Washington Veterans Home, which recently added a homeless shelter.
We're a little late on a review of Paris Men's Fashion Week (and not completely qualified to comment or critique), but imagine our delight when we saw that last week Jean Paul Gaultier and Yohji Yamamoto featured a runway full of facial hair! From the shaggy to the superb, the retro to the modern - beards, 'staches, and light scruff were all the rage under the Parisian lights.
These were not the too-groomed goatees and soul patches of 22-year-old boys, or the befuddling upper-lip caterpillars of politicians and financiers. These were quite old-fashioned, quite serious, and not a product of adolescent self-discovery or a wanting more hair somewhere amid midlife balding. Beards were thick and unkempt at Gaultier....
Perhaps these designers are saying that if you want a beard or a 'stache, don't be wimpy and grow it in thin patches, carefully trimmed so that it projects the right amount of lazy to go with your rumpled plaid shirt. Go all out, and let people know that when you enter the room, you do so beard first.
An American construction worker detained in Pakistan while on a solo mission to kill Osama bin Laden claimed on Wednesday that he was obeying an order from God to avenge the Sept 11, 2001, attacks, said Pakistani security officials.
Gary Brooks Faulkner said God revealed the order in one of his dreams, prompting him to travel to Pakistan in search of al-Qaida's leader... read more...
This is not the first time we've heard of the blending of God and Beards... it is now a full blown trend... so, way to really really go out of your way to #proveit Gary...
Not only are you from all the way in California, but you come to our attention via Pakistan... and while we're not very heavy into politics here at B-a-B, we want to take a stand and say we support you, your beard, your beliefs, and the fact that you are perhaps the first ninja with a beard.
For all that (and much more) we salute you... you are our inaugural Beardo of The Month... when (and if) you get out of jail, give us a call or shoot us a note, we would LOVE to interview you.
Well, if I may say so myself... this interview is Jack at his absolute finest. Vintage Passion. And it's exactly why he is who he is; an inspiration to us all, bearded or not.
I want each and every one of you to heed his words and advice day in day out... Not because he's the beardliest man in the world, not just because he's a published author of the bible of facial hair, and not because he was the MC at the first ever National Beard and Moustache Championships... but rather because he's 100% right, 1000% just, and 5000% inspiring.
Jack has undoubtedly transcended his prize-winning beard... which is no small feat, since it keeps growing and growing. As such Jack keeps proving it and proving it... and that's why we here at Build-a-Beard.com love him so. I miss you already Jack, this weekend came and went too soon, too fast. Until next time my bearded friend... and it better be under a year.
Man, the gloriously hairy weekend in Bend seems further and further away... I'm saddened by the fact that I have to wait another year to see all the awesome people that i met and mingled with at the first ever National Beard and Moustache Championships... at least putting out these posts in piecemeal is making me relive the experience, over and over this whole week.
As such, I wanted to do a post on the judges that were the shot makers on June 5th, the people with the hardest job in the room... the ones that had to look through hundreds of competitors in 4 categories and narrow them down meticulously into the top 3 winners of each set. I would not want to have their job, but if Phil Olsen is reading this, I am available for judging next year!
Either way, they deserve their own recognition and thus this post... of course, I somehow managed to miss interviewing Captain Harry Lewis (aka Capt Big Dad of the FV Incentive crab boat, made famous on Deadliest Catch) though you can clearly see me walking and talking with him, here, via LA Times). As well as my new best friend Burke Kenny (former world champion in the full beard styled moustache category, and a member of As the Devil Dances), plus the local essay winner Laura Beverungen... if y'all are reading, drop us a line for a well deserved Q&A!
First off, Miss Oregon 2009 CC Barber -- Who's a small town girl with big city dreams. She graduated from Scappoose High School as a varsity athlete with an Honors Diploma in 2005. As a native Oregonian and a nursing student in her final semester at Samuel Merritt University, CC Barber, is a caring and driven young woman with a heart of gold... I asked her abuot beards and world peace.
Then comes Sirwan Singh -- he's the Guinness World Record holder for the world's longest beard... he really needs no other introduction... I had some fun with him and his translator talking about the god given gift of facial hair.
What would a bearding event be without a ton of beer? And what would beer be without a brewer... in comes Jason Buehler -- a brewer from the Shamrock Brewery in Pueblo, Colorado. In his plea to be a judge, Jason demonstrated proper beer drinking technique (3 gulps), and a nice set of chops. I asked him about, what else, beer and bearding.
Finally, perhaps our favorite judge (and one of only two to tell me I did a good job, thanks CC for the other nod), Seth Klein -- Seth's plea was perhaps the most significant... you see, Seth is a scholar on Joe Palmer and a his video was a treatise on bearded rights. Here's my quick interview with Seth on that very topic.
And since I did bring up Phil Olsen, the self appointed captain of Beard Team USA... here's a follow up with the man behind the whole shindig, while not a judge his hands were full (perhaps fuller) than anyone else last weekend. I talked to him about America's role in the world of bearding...
